Overcome the 3 biggest barriers to making friends abroad

Moving to a new country is exciting and life changing, but it can come with challenges too. For most internationals, one of the toughest challenges is making friends in a place where everything feels unfamiliar. Building connections is essential - it creates a sense of belonging and a feeling of being at home away from home. You need them to live a healthy, fulfilled and sustainable life in your chosen country. If you're not able to create those connections, you will very likely move back home much sooner than anticipated - friends are that important for your future.

But here's the thing: Making friends as an adult is already difficult. Making friends as an adult ABROAD adds even more layers of challenges on top of it which is why so many expats and immigrants struggle with feeling lonely abroad. Let's look at the three most common challenges that hinder internationals from creating connections and making friends abroad.

Challenge 1: Cultural Differences

Cultural differences can be one of the biggest obstacles when making friends abroad. Each country has its unique set of customs (widely accepted, traditional way of behaving or doing something that is unique to a specific society, location, or time) and that can be confusing to people who are new in this country. For example, in some cultures, direct eye contact is seen as a sign of trust - in others, it might be viewed as impolite.

Imagine hanging out with a few locals: You really want them to like you so you figure you'll tell them your favourite joke, a bit of humour can't hurt right? Well, you do that only to realise that your style of humour falls flat because jokes that are common in your home country simply do not translate well. This happened to me so many times! Other expats have also shared how isolated they feel due to these kinds of cultural misunderstandings - it's a normal thing.

To overcome these challenges, learn about the local culture by doing research or asking questions. The more you know, the more you can practise to apply the local customs and culture. That's the second step, immerse yourself in the local culture. Join community events, ask locals about their traditions, or even volunteer at local organisations. That way, you learn about the new culture AND you get to meet new people who you can build deeper connections with.

Challenge 2: Language Barrier

Language barriers can hinder genuine connections. If you're not fluent in the local language, you'll find it hard to share your thoughts, perspective and emotions. Instead you'll either need to rely on technical aids like translators or you use the vocabulary you have which can keep the conversation at a very superficial level. It can also result in misunderstandings when you can't share what you truly mean nor understand the other person properly.

The only real way to overcome this barrier is to learn the language asap. Join a local language class can help you improve your language skills while meeting others in the same situation (great basis for a good friendship). Even if you struggle at first, embrace the discomfort of speaking the language anyway (the only way to really get better). Most locals also appreciate internationals trying to speak the local language, even if they're not perfect at it.

Practice in low-pressure settings, via text or during language class, where you can chat with others who are also eager to learn and who also make mistakes. That way, it'll be a less intimidating environment which will help you to learn more and faster.

Challenge 3: Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection can stop many from actually trying to make new friends abroad. Thoughts like, "Will they like me?" or "Do I fit in?" often come up and the worry of what if they don't like or approve of me keeps them stuck at home - lonely and isolated. So many internationals have said that the fear of rejection is a primary reason for them hesitating to socialise.

Feeling like an outsider amplifies these fears. It can prevent you from taking the first step towards creating new friendships. And it's easy to feel like an outsider in a new environment where you don't speak the language nor understand the culture - I get it.

To overcome fear of rejection, you need to reprogram your brain. A good start is to remind yourself that most people value connection just as much as you do. Participate in social activities where group involvement is key, such as clubs, sports teams, or hobby groups related to your interests. This can create a more relaxed atmosphere for you and take away the pressure of one-on-one interaction.

It's not easy but the effort is well worth it

Making friends abroad isn't always easy, but the effort is well worth it. You didn't just move abroad to survive, you moved abroad to live your life abroad to the fullest - friends will help you achieve this.

Schedule your free coaching session now to successfully begin making friends abroad!